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It’s just about wedding (aka there goes my money) season

Submitted by on May 12, 2015 – 7:42 pm

Spring is in the air!

By that I mean a combo of BBQs and thawing dog poo. It’s a weird and confusing mixture. Don’t forget Mayflies! No sooner had the first of May hit than we get swatted with flies while walking down the street, driving with the window down or heck even brushing your teeth!

It’ll also be wedding season before you know it.

Enter ominous music.

For a guest, the cost of an average wedding is over six hundred dollars. Think about how many bills you could pay with that cashish. Six hundred sounds steep right? Out of town? Ad gas expenses or train ticket. Hotel, check. Then there’s this new rule I just learned about: you buy a gift that equals the average cost of the dinner. Call me a rookie, but this is news to me! In my case, we (my girlfriend and I) have to buy a two hundred and fifty dollar gift this summer. See how quickly it can add up? Another lesson I recently learned at ‘wedding-school-on-the-sofa-while-pausing-the-hockey-game’ (thank you NHL Game Centre live) is that giving a card with scratch tickets is not acceptable.

I thought it was acceptably funny/tacky but in a ‘Crazy Cousin Kris’ moment. There’s been a learning curve to this wedding business.

All this over one wedding appearance. What happened to six hundred dollars on a weekend getaway at a music festival? Oh, but there will be music to the tune of Bob Seger’s ‘Old Time Rock n’ Roll’ and ‘Mambo Number 5.’  Open bar and my undying love for the chicken dance makes the trade up acceptable when you throw in the opportunity for hotel sex. Taking it on the road!

Multiply that by two or three and dear god I’m headed to KGH with chest pains. If you’re one of those folks with several weddings to attend out of town or otherwise, my hat goes off to you—by end of summer you will be several pounds heavier and a few dollars lighter.

Stay thirsty friends; see you on the patio.


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